i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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