Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
