apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
