There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Randomize
