I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My pussy is not your playground.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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