halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i think my cat just said my name.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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