If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
literally had 100 drinks last night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
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He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
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tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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