I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
