i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
