sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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