He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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