You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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