Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
