i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
