Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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