using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
