That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
