whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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