Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
