remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
