"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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