I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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