But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
zippers are such a cool invention
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
