I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
