you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
