dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
