Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
