can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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