and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
