I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize