Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
