"it" just moved
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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