started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
