I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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