Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
