is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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