I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
