Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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