I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
