You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
