is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
