apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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