girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
