I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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