Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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