I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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