You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
