i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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