where am i from again
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize