You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
