So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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