That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
