yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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