i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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