i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
