Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
