Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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