if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
