More tranny stories later!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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