I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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