i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
