The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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