she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize