Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
