I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
