you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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